Don't be fooled!
We all have certain things we simply DO NOT enjoy. There are few that rate so highly on my list as biting into a deceivingly delicious-looking apple, only to find that instead of a great crunch, you are instead met by a sensation somewhat similar to that felt while eating mashed potatoes. This is great if you are eating mashed potatoes, but not apples; people seem to generally agree with me. As a daily apple-eater, I have had this experience far too many times.
However terrible we all might consider the formerly described snacking experience to be, I do have a particular friend who prefers a soft apple [GASP]. I know, I know, I don't get it either; as she is the founder and an executive member of the GWU Food Justice Alliance, this seems like blasphemy. I think Juliana (aforementioned friend) receives more complimentary bags of apples than anybody else I know, and this is a big deal coming from someone who used to work at an orchard (i.e., me). I put up with this strange preference, though I must admit that watching her bite into the mush evokes in me a feeling similar to that experienced when hearing nails scraped on a chalkboard.
After all this slander, I ought to let you know about Jules' project with the Food Justice Alliance, so be sure to check that out (and possibly copy her?)
In conclusion, I wish a crispy apple for each and every one of you. Well, with one exception...